Sunday, February 21, 2010

To Our Chosen One:

To Our Chosen One,

Your daddy & I waited a long time to have a family. We prayed for you before we even met you. We had no idea what a wonderful surprise God had planned for us. When we got the call, I was at school and started crying immediately. We were so excited to meet you that we drove 24 hours straight to your hospital. We met you at the hospital for the first time and we loved you immediately. You were sound asleep and your daddy & I held you, stared at you, and were amazed at how beautiful you were. “He’s so perfect,” is all we could keep saying. We couldn’t wait to take you home. These last 3 months have been the greatest times of our lives. You brought us and your family so much joy.

You have an amazing love story, Eli. It started when your birth mom loved you so much she let you go. The one thing she told us when we got to meet her was that she never wanted you to think you weren’t loved. She gave you to us because she loved you so much. And then we got to love you. You allowed us to experience love in a whole new way. But no one loves you more than your heavenly father. Our time with you was so short, and we will always want more, but this was God’s plan for you, and we will trust Him and know that one day, we will hold you again. I am so thankful and feel so lucky that we got to be your mom and dad. We were blessed take care of you, and I am glad that we could be the ones to comfort you when you were sick.

You had an amazing way of communicating with us by just looking deep into our eyes. We could always see straight through to your heart through your eyes. You were mostly asleep at the end and we didn’t see you awake very much, but for some reason the day of your last surgery, you were awake more than you had been in weeks. You would open your eyes and look right at us. We were so happy to see you awake again and I like to think you were saying goodbye to us and letting us see your beautiful brown eyes one last time.

Eli, we are so proud of you, you were so strong and so brave. You amazed all of the doctors and fought so hard. We wish you wouldn’t have had to go through all of that pain, but we know that you now have a perfect body. There are no more needles, no more pokes, no more tubes, and no more surgeries. You are in our hearts and we will think of you and be filled with memories of smiles, coos, cuddles, & love. We have hope because Christ has conquered death. We have hope because Christ died so that those who trust Him would be with Him again someday. Our hearts are broken, our arms are empty and we don’t understand why this could happen, but God is sovereign. He loves us more than we can understand. You will always be our son, our first born, and we will always be your mommy and daddy.

Love Always,

Mom and Dad


  1. Thank you for posting this. I have been praying and wondering how you were both doing. What a beautiful letter for your son. There is another blog that, if you'd like, you can look at. She was my neighbor last year when her two year old strangled on a curtain cord. She's a hurting mommy, too. In her blog, she is full of faith yet honest in her pain. Perhaps at some point you could find some comfort in knowing someone else who has lost a child. The address is:
    Prayers from a distance!

  2. This is such a beautiful letter of faith and love. Praying for strength for you.

  3. That is just so beautiful and Eli's service was so precious. We just want to assure you of our continued love and prayers as you walk this difficult journey together. Cling to Christ and cling to each other.

  4. Beautifully written! I can tell God is keeping you close and holding you guys up through your words. Thoughts and prayers to you!

  5. So very sorry for your grief, but especially for this little chap's trauma, pain and suffering also for the grief of his biological mother who has suffered two losses and griefs so close together.

  6. I am speechless and in aww of this letter, I am so so sorry for your loss

  7. That is a beautiful touching letter to your precious son. He has touched so many lives. We feel blessed to have read about his amazing life through your words!

    Our 2nd child that we adopted went home with Jesus at 5 months old. Her name was Joy. We were devastated. That was in 1988. Her very short life taught me many lessons. The first being that we were very blessed to be were with her her whole life. We had wanted her to be with us for a long time. But that wasn't God's plan. Had we not adopted her, we would have never known her. That would have been a much bigger loss. In my grief I told God that I would never be happy again after she died. Only 3 years after saying that, my 4th adopted child was a year old swinging her legs to music in her car seat, singing all of the wrong words to a song! I laughed and laughed. Instantly I realized- "Darn it God, I said I'd never be happy again and I am!" He was blessing me even in my pain.

    Long story short- we have adopted 11 children (ages 6-34) and are waiting for a referal on our next adoption.(our last adoption was 6 years ago) We also have 4 birth children (the 3 living are ages 31,29 and 6) even though I was told I couldn't have children. My first born birth child died at age 28, 6 years ago, when our youngest birth son was 6 months old. So as you can see we have had a life time of joy mixed with pain.
    I am 53 and my husband is 56.

    We just wanted to encourage you in your journey! We know you have many, many future blessings from God ahead for you! Hang onto your hope! Your son will continue to touch lives with your sharing.
    You are in our thoughts and prayers.
    Elizabeth & Tom in St. Cloud MN

  8. I just stumbled upon this blog and I am so touched by your kind and beautiful words to your adorable baby boy. While it is quite clear how blessed you felt to have him in your life, he too was blessed to have such loving and perfect parents. You taught him about love and generosity. While he left you much too soon, I know he left with a feeling warmth and love and peace.

  9. Came across your blog today. My heart breaks for you! You are such a strong and sweet woman! May God Bless you!

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  11. We found your bloggie today and wanted to paw condolences and offer soft husky wooooos,

    RA, Isis & Nanük